Why "It Takes a Village" Still Matters Today

I grew up in a family that did not connect emotionally. I was left to face challenges on my own. When I did reach out for support, I would hear, "Get over it," or "Oh, you'll be fine." So, as I grew up, I stopped leaning on people. Me, myself, and I—that was my village.

When I had kids, I never asked for help. Not just because I had learned to survive alone, but because help always seemed to come with strings attached. So, I raised my kids on my own while trying to heal my own inner child at the same time. Everything I learned in life, I learned on my own. I faced anxiety and depression. I didn’t see a future for myself more times than I can count. For a decade, I was stuck in darkness—broke, exhausted, and in constant survival mode.

I found ways to save money, got creative with meals, went without so my kids didn’t have to, and became resourceful in finding what we needed. A part of me is grateful for having been forced to figure things out, but another part of me? That part aches for the support I never had. I wish I had a community to lean on—a group of people to support each other, share ideas, trade resources, vent about the struggles we were facing. Having a community won’t magically make struggles disappear, but at least you won’t feel so alone. You won’t feel so worthless or defeated, ready to give up.

Life was never meant to be lived the way we live it today. The world has evolved past humanity, past connection, past natural happiness. It’s cold, distant, disconnected. Everyone fends for themselves. If someone is struggling, they’re met with judgment instead of empathy. Like my childhood, the world has disconnected from its emotions, from its ability to care and love.

Once upon a time, "It takes a village" was more than just a saying—it was a way of life. Neighbors supported each other, watched over each other’s kids, offered a helping hand without expecting anything in return. It was natural. It was human.

Now? Now, we only hear that phrase in a bitter, sarcastic way: "They say it takes a village, yet the village now judges me and blames me when I can’t survive."

Sure, we have online communities now. Facebook groups offer a space to share struggles and get advice, and sometimes, that can be enough to help you feel a little less alone. But nothing—nothing—beats the warmth of human connection. A hug when you’re falling apart. A shoulder to cry on when words aren’t enough. A hand on your back, grounding you as someone whispers, "I’m here, I’ve got you." There is no substitute for that kind of presence.

If we think of the Grinch, his heart didn’t grow twice as big because he joined a Facebook group—it grew because of the love and warmth of the people around him.

We need to find our way back to that. We need to remember what it means to be a village again. Because we were never meant to do this alone.

If you are interested in hosting free events in your Canadian community, reach out to me here: neighbourtoneighbourinfo@gmail.com.